Trying to recap the past weeks, since I wrote the last time, hasn´t really been easy. My whole training schedule I set out for April and May was made redundant when I got knee problems in the Norway camp with the national team. Making the past weeks, mostly on the mental part, quite challenging. But to take that away from the beginning I am currently “in training” again, my knee is not at 100% yet but getting there!
Actually I am not completely sure how it started but I remember falling at the second training, a long distance, and probably fell on the knee there. Even though I didn´t had any pain or problems till the next day´s evening I guess that´s the main cause. At first when I got the problems which mainly occurred when I was bending/flexing my right knee (jumping and putting ´pressure´ on it wasn’t a problem) I thought it was just some bruise from a fall, nothing very unusual in orienteering. It turns out it would drag on for quite a while.
To keep it a short as there wasn´t really something fun happening in the next 4 weeks: I didn´t really train anymore in the national team camp but as the last weekend of that week the selection races for the WorldCup in Finland were held I wanted to try to run the middle at least which I did, finishing with the worst performance in quite some time . Still hoping for the best, I continued onwards to Finland, only to realize that it´s not really getting better, nor changing at all. Physio, Orthopedic and MRI appointment later I officially knew my knee was “clinically okay” and that two parts attached to the knee are swollen. Meaning I should cool, do stretching/mobility and was allowed to slowly start running again so I tried that and it felt pretty bad on the knee, so back to resting again. And ´thanks but no thanks´ with that kind of undefined answer as those are the worst in probably every situation… you can see my frustration and demotivation growing. So 10mila came and it was super cool being around so many orienteers and seeing some friends again but at the same time it felt sad still not being able to run properly again.
Btw that keeping it short was a lie…(just saying)
After that I travelled back home again. After a week at home I got some input from a friend where I read further into the “runners/jumpers – knee” area of injuries as in the end I think it is/was something like that which led me to do some more specific (stretching) exercises, especially strengthening my hip-muscles. I am not sure if that is what really made it get better but over time it felt better and also when I tried running which made me more confident about going to Sweden/Norway for two weeks again. There was still a big chance that my knee could get worse again but I just wanted to go to Scandinavia again with a bit of hope because the biggest challenge was really not going ´crazy´ the last weeks. I know others had worse injuries dragging on for way longer then mine eventually did but I just love running and orienteering too much – it´s my life and therefore was missing a lot of life-quality in those weeks!
At the same time those weeks obviously gave me a lot of time think about life and orienteering. Even though I got frustrated, demotivated and lost a lot of confidence in the meantime, I got more motivated and determined then before in the end. I actually kinda hate those “coming back stronger” and sort of quotes but still there is always some truth to them…
The biggest thing related to motivation I learnt about myself is that demotivation, for whatever reason, is actually my biggest motivator!
I am not completely sure why I love running and orienteering so much but I know that it makes me happy! Of course it makes the moments when I am not able run pretty tough to live through but also makes the moments when I can run far greater than any low I had before.
In the end those are just challenges every athlete has to face time to time so I figure that´s just life…
PS: Second part coming next week… (Probably; I guess; well you will see)